Procrastination
I've come to believe that some people are destined to be perpetually late. I have also come to accept that I am one such person. This is a problem that I have accepted, but because it has yet to negatively affect my life in some way, I have done nothing to change it--well, not seriously at least. I mean, I have tried a few things: 1) setting my watch ahead, 2) trying to always be 15 minutes early, 3) driving faster (and faster), and even 4) trying to design a time distortion device. Explanations for each follow.
1) This never worked for me. It seems to work for some people because I see so many clocks displaying the wrong time, but I am not one of these people. When I tried this technique, I knew my watch was set ahead, so I automatically subtracted the offset. Besides, now I get the time from my cellular telephone, which retrieves the time automatically from signal towers.
2) This one is just simply impossible for me.
3) This works fairly well, actually. The only problem is that I kept seeing blue lights in my rear-view mirror right before a kind man in a brown hat and blue shirt brandishing a pistol on his hip gave me an expensive, little, pink paper.
4) Everyone knows that it is impossible to build a time travel machine with our current level of technology, but I thought that time distortion would suffice for my purposes. I searched and researched for hours (thanks, Google) and discovered that my time distortion device is completely plausible. All I need to do is get a plane that can travel around the Earth a bunch of times really, really fast. I'm thinking I'll get a Blackbird and strap a few extra gas tanks1.
OK, I know I'm doomed (or blessed) to be perpetually late, so I am never in a hurry. Even if I know that I can make it somewhere on time by hurrying, I take my time because something would happen to make me late, anyway, so I save myself the stress. Most people see this as indifference or procrastination, but I know it is neither, although it shares a place in my mind with the latter. Procrastination is a peculiar beast--more on that later.
1Please do not leave comments about my stupidity for this. I know it's dumb; that's the point.
5 Comments:
I have the exact same problem and attitude. The only thing that seems to make much difference is the degree to which I would like to avoid pissing off whoever I would piss off by being late. This is especially true of early morning (or early afternoon as the case may be) appointments when my lateness is most likely due to the fact that I am still asleep when I am supposed to be there.
It also helps to have an alarm clock next to me so that I can check the time as I am starting to wake up, choose a time that is the extreme latest that I can possibly get up and still have time to get ready and make it in time, and then get up five (or ten or thirty) minutes after this chosen time.
I like the blackbird idea but who will you get it from the U.S., the U.K., or maybe Ferrari. Also if you do get it then you can be chief thief and you won't need to be on time because you can always just steal a couple minutes off of someone.
Hey won't doesn't my blog have a link from your you jerk
Guess what boys, you come by this problem naturally, so sorry! One solution you didn't mention is indian time, whenever you get there is when you get there, whereever there is anyway?
MOM
I went the other way. I am almost neurotic about being late. I am always 5 to 10 (or more) minutes early for anything. If I am not sure how long it will take me to get there I err on the side of way to much caution, and usually get there 45 minutes to an hour early.
Ask Mom or Karen, if I say I'm leaving at a certain time, and the people who are supposed to go with me aren't ready, I'll leave without them. I'd rather be an asshole than late.
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