Changes...

Before you read this entry, know this: This post will most likely seem very depressing to you.  I am sorry for this, but I am feeling more depressed than ususal and I think that it is only fair that I write when I am in a "bad" mood just like I would when I am in a "good" mood.  Really, this post is more for me to document my feeling and get my thoughts out in the open than anything else.  Remember, you can stop reading anytime you like.

I have spent a good bit of time today reflecting on the changes that being in Iraq has inflicted upon me.  I have hit a slump, emotionally speaking, and I feel that it is having an impact on my physical and mental states.  For almost 2 months I was doing quite well; I was running nearly every day and I felt really, really good.  Then, I passed my 4-year mark, the should-have-been end to my Army carreer.  Ever since that day (the same one that I posted the Today is the Day entry), it has been harder and harder to wake up each morning, my motivation for exercising has declined drastically, and it seems to me that nothing in the next six months is going to get any better.  I have still been running, but not as regularly as I would like.
         I should be starting college this fall.  I should be enjoying this summer.  I should be doing anything but wasting away in Iraq, and believe me, the whole thing is just a waste of time, money, energy, everything put into it, including me.  I need to get out of this rut.   That isn't going to be easy.  The first step is to wake up tomorrow morning at 6:00 and go running.  I always feel better after a good run; it clears my head and puts me in a better mood for the rest of the day.  The problem is actually getting out of bed and out the door.  Any suggestions? Leave me a comment please.
        I don't recall the reason that I fell off the horse, but I desperately need to get back on becuase in my current state, I am deteriorating.  I really don't like to emanate a negative feeling to those around me, but I find it hard to appear positive if I don't feel it.  I need to start back up again, and in the sentiment of a true procrastinator: There is no better time than tomorrow.